Research shows that cultivating self-compassion—learning to be kind and supportive to oneself—can act as a protective shield for teenagers against the negative impacts of social media, trauma, depression, and other challenges. While self-compassion isn’t a cure-all, it can help mitigate some of the difficulties that adolescents face daily.
Teens in Crisis
Content warning—this article discusses suicide and suicidal feelings.
Teens in the US are facing unprecedented challenges. The lingering effects of the pandemic, the constant threat of school shootings, and the anxiety about climate change have contributed to a mental health crisis. Suicide rates have surged over the past decade, making it the second leading cause of death among teens.
Supporting Vulnerable Youth
What can we do to support teens who lack the skills to manage chronic depression and anxiety? Fortunately, self-compassion has been shown to protect teens from adverse effects of social media, depression, stress, social anxiety, cyberbullying, early life trauma, loneliness, perfectionism, and other threats. Though not a magical solution, self-compassion can help teens navigate a world that is often divisive, violent, and angry.
Benefits of Self-Compassion
Two meta-analyses—statistical summaries of multiple studies—found that self-compassionate teens are less likely to be depressed, anxious, or stressed. They are also less likely to self-harm, develop depression when stressed, have mental health problems as they grow older, or develop PTSD following a traumatic event. Essentially, self-compassion builds resilience.
Seeking Help
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, know that you don’t have to face this moment alone. Talk to a medical professional or someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
Understanding Self-Compassion
According to psychologist Kristin Neff, self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness and support when things don’t go your way. Whether it’s a disagreement at work, a confrontation with a partner, or a difficult parenting day, self-compassion involves three main components:
- Mindfulness: Recognizing and not exaggerating your emotional response to difficult situations.
- Common Humanity: Understanding that everyone experiences pain and struggles.
- Self-Kindness: Actively supporting yourself instead of being self-critical.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself as you would treat a good friend who is struggling. It requires a shift in how we handle emotional pain, observing our feelings with a balanced perspective, and offering ourselves kindness and support.
Cultivating Self-Compassion
Most of us were raised to be kind to others but not to ourselves. Learning self-compassion means acknowledging our pain, recognizing that it’s part of the human experience, and taking steps to be kind to ourselves. This might involve saying kind words to ourselves, engaging in activities that bring joy, or standing up for ourselves in unhealthy situations.
Addressing Doubts About Self-Compassion
Teens might worry that self-compassion will make them less motivated. However, research shows the opposite. For example, one study found that undergraduates who were encouraged to be self-compassionate spent more time studying and performed better on a test. Self-compassionate individuals are more motivated because they are less afraid of failure and more likely to embrace new experiences and take responsibility for their mistakes.
Teaching Self-Compassion to Teens
Studies have shown that teens can learn self-compassion through programs like Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens. These programs have been effective in improving self-compassion, life satisfaction, and reducing depression among participants. For transgender and gender-expansive teens, self-compassion programs have also shown significant improvements in depression, anxiety, resilience, and perceived burdensomeness.
Expanding Self-Compassion Programs
To reach more teens, self-compassion programs could be integrated into school curriculums. Training teachers, support staff, and families in self-compassion can create a supportive school culture where everyone benefits. Such an environment would foster health, flourishing, and academic achievement.
Conclusion
Extensive research confirms that self-compassion helps alleviate suffering. Given the current mental health crisis among teens, it’s crucial to provide them with the coping resources that work. By doing so, we can help them move beyond their pain and towards a future of well-being and health. Expanding access to self-compassion training for teens is an urgent need that can’t be delayed.
